dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
