Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
