I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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