i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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