OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
