i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
