Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
