Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
bring money and cleavage
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
