what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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