Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
