My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize