So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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