But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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