and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
