I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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