I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
