This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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