there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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