Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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