thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
