If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
