I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It was confusing and full of hummus
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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