I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
