i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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