True but thats because hes a fetus.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize