Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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