She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
