My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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