Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
