Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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