No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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