I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
