dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
