Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize