Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
