Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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