Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
