Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
