He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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