after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
