lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
