idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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