Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
