I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
