She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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