so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
two words...techno handjob
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
