Church boner. Awkwardddd
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can't turn off my feet"
whose parrot is this?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
