Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
