Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
