i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
