i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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