maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize