She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
