Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
