Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
did you just send me my own nude
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
