I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
